


X and Zero go on an adventure

by Robotic_meido



Category: Rockman X | Mega Man X, Rockman | Mega Man Classic
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2018-06-07 23:11:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6829138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robotic_meido/pseuds/Robotic_meido
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was laundry day, but nothing could prepare them for what was to come...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> OK so this was a group effort with (1) other person and they really hate cutman so sorry cutman lovers. this is a directionless piece so it sorta just goes evrywhere. theres a lot of cursing

Chapter 1: resources

 

Today was like any other day, except not really because today was the day that the day was not like any other day, shit was about to go down.  
It was laundry day. And the reploid was damn low on quarters.  
It’s robbery time bitches.   
X pulled up to the taco bell in a mercedes benz, a gun in one hand, and a gun was his other hand.  
‘ I cant believe it. I could’ve robbed anything. But if I’m gonna rob anywhere, I guess this is the easiest place to do it.’ He thought, preparing himself for what he was about to do. Living in DA HOOD, not a lot of people come to taco bell at 8 fucking AM. So there shouldnt be any casualties. And besides, whos gonna fight a guy with GUN HANDS.  
X stepped outta his super baller mercedes and ran into the taco baco. “Hello welcome to tacoH HOLY FUCK X WHAT THE FUCK.” It was that shady bitch Cutman. “Cutman what the fuCK.” X said, ready to shoot that scissor-headed piece of shit in his dumb cutman face (A/N: cutman fucking sucks) And at that very moment. “PUT YOUR HANDS UP THIS IS A RO- X WHAT THE FUCK.” It was Zero. He was robbing the same fuCKING TACO BELL.  
”Zero what the fuck” X asked lowering one (1) gun, keeping the other pointed at cutmang. “Wait why are YOU robbing this taco bell??” “It’s laundry day man, my non-existent laundry needs laundering. Hey do we even remove our armor? Isn't that like our exoskeleton?? Dude what the FUCK. WE’RE FUCKING ROBOTS.” “..... just dont think about it. Shhh” X trailed off. “OKAY SO BACK TO THIS SHIT” At this point, Cutmang had already hung up his uniform and was just about to leave. Unfortunately for him, that piece of shit no good pile of scrap metal opened the fucking fire alarm door. “HE’S TRYING TO LEAVE.” Zero exclaimed, pointing at the dumb orange fucker. “JUST GRAB THE WHOLE CASH REGISTER AND THE ROBOT AND GET INTO THE CAR.” X yelled back, making a mad dash for the scissor-fucker. “Ahee..ahe..heee..” Said cutshit nervously, “now fellas, th-th-there’s no need to be brash!!” “ Shut the fuck up tinboy.” x said, picking him up with one arm (the gun arm) “DUDE I CANT PICK IT UP IT’S NAILED TO THE COUNTER.” Zero said in a panic. Before he could even finish saying counter, X used his gun arm, cutman still under it, to blast a hole in the counter freeing the cash register.”  
“DUDE YOU ALMOST SHOT ME.” Zero said. “YOU’RE FINE JUST GRAB THE REGISTER AND LET’S GO. PRICES FOR THE NICE DETERGENT GO UP AT 9.” came the other reploid.”C-could you please put me down..?” “NO!” Came the reply from the two frantic robbers.X threw cutmang through the car window at the force of 300000 jet engines, cutman (nearly) exploding on contact (but not really). Following the sound of distant police sirens,zero jumped into the passanger side and threw the register onto cutfucks (nearly) lifeless corpse. “SHIT X WE NEED TO GO NOW” Zero yelled, slamming the car door shut,”I KNOW BITCH” X zaid, slamming onto the gas (A/N: did u kno that was a fetish? I didn’t need to :C )and plowed straight through the taco bell drive through since it was easier than trying to exit the parking lot in a timely manner.  
“Ok, heres the plan. We’re going to drive away like nothing happened. And we are going to pull up behind the walmart. And then we’re going to take the body out of the car..” X said, keeping his cool behind the wheel. Whatta babe. “And we’re gonna leave him there?” Zero said naively. “NO YOU FUCK WE’RE GOING TO SHAKE HIM DOWN FOR HIS MONEY.” X said back. “Oh.. yeah that makes more sense!” damn, zero was..kinda cute today?? What the fuck?? ‘Shit… I read that life-endangerment made you feel things for people. But IM NOT A GAY???’ X thought, gazing over at Zero, his long flowing anime hair glistening in the morning sunlight. Or maybe its because his windows were dirty. “X FUCK KEEP YOUR GODDAMN EYES ON THE FUCKING ROAD” Zero yelled, grasping onto the seat for dear artificial life. Somehow during X’s gay thoughts, he managed to FUCKING MERGE INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC.   
X quickly snapped out of his gay daydreams, the headlights of a huge semi-truck reflecting off his eyes “ OH FUCKIN GH SHIT’ He yelled turning the steering wheel in a panic and crossing multiple roads and sidewalks hitting a few bystanders on the way through. “ OH DEAR GOD X” Zero screamed, being thrown around the car as they hit “speedbump” after “speedbump”. (hint: they were not speedbumps) ”X WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DAMAGE??” Zero yelled, still trying to catch his breath, and his emotions. He’s basically scarred for life now. “YOU HIT QUICKMAN.” “ Well, I guess he just wasn’t fast enough.” X said, turning on his windshield wipers as if didn’t just commit vehicular proto-manslaughter. (badum tss) “X. HOLY FUCK.” was the only thing the poor reploid could say. Needless to say, the rest of the drive to walmart was silent, except for the one “ahee….” coming from the backseat. This was quickly fixed with a smack to the head with a cash register after a sharp left turn. 

 

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Chapter 2: CUMMIE CATASTROPHE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ZERO AND X CANT DRIVE FOR SHIT OKAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys it’s your local tumblr user reploid-prince here to bring you part 2 for the chilling saga, the result of a collab between me and good friend of mine. 
> 
> No proof-reading we die like men.

CHAPTER 2: CUMMIE CATASTROPHE

 

As the two pulled into the walmart parking lot, Zero looked in the rear-view merror. SOMETIME during the chase, the police stopped followign them :the fuckk) Zerox grabbed x on the shoulder to get the other reploid’s attention “X. X hol y sHIT you’re not gonna believe this shit.” Zero said, looking back into the car. “Yes babe?” “what.” “nothing what were you saying?” “the police arent here.” x looked back to confirm himself. “Holy shit we did it we’re not going to robot jail today” x said with a relieved smile. “Wait shit we still have to deal with cutfuck” zero said motioning at the almost-lifeless not-corpse in the back seat.

“We gotta put him out of his misery”

x said gcocking his gun-arm. (AN: x can gun my cocks any day) “Oh god this is like that scene from that sad dog movie, we cant do that it’s too heartless” x put his gun arm away. “Well then what are we suppsoed to do with him? Hes broke and basically almost sorta half dead” zero looked at x with a serious expression. “We gotta put him back” he paused “hes gotta go back to his people. The taco-bell people” X rubbed his chin with his not gun hand. “ I guess you’re right..But doesn’t blues work at taco baco? How will we get past him? “ Zero stared blankly at him for a few seconds. “ Dude, theres like, five fucking taco bells here, what’re the chances that we go to the one with Blues working there?” “I guess you’re right, but let’s shake him down and then hurry the fUCK up, the detergent prices are gonna go up REAL SOON. “  
So the two pulled the bot out of the back and held him upside down and proceeded to shake him a bit longer than they probably should’ve. The dumb bitch only carried pennies.  
What the fuck

What a gfickin tool

The two loaded CutFUCK back into the fucking baller ass mercedes bendz and hopped back into the car and drove off. The drove for a while in silence before Zero looked over at X. “Hey. Dude. Theres a shit ton of robo-blood on the car.” X rolled down his window and looked out. “Shit.. you’re right. “ The two looked at each other for a second before X pulled a CD out of nowhere and shoving it in the player. Suddenly, HEY YA by Outkast started playing fullblast. Shit. Was. Lit.

Alright so the pull up to this hella big carwash and throw some money at the attendent.X wasnt sure how much, or if it was even enough, but he didnt care they were basically rich after robbing that taco COCKo anyway.Midway through their party wash was interrupted by a police car pulling up behind him. “SHit zero dont panic but i think the popo are back” x said in a panicked voice.zero looked back franticly, noticing the red and blue lights mounted on the vehicle behind them”

“okay x we gotta stay calm, and collected, we cant let them think we did anything wrong just dont do anything-” fUCK” Zero’s head collided into dashboard, breaking it instantly and x slammed the gas driving through the heavy machinery in front of them, soap going everywhere, poor Zero landed straight into the..hot wax station. A light flickered on signaling it went into service. X could only watch helplessly as the nozzles ejected their hot load onto Zero from behind . Suddenly the car moved forward off of the conveyor, taking the abnormally shiny zero back with him. “Grab my hand!” X exclaimed, reaching his hand- the gun hand- out the window. Man, if he wasnt made of fucking metal that wouldve hurt. “X, you fucking idiot i cant grab onto your fucking gun.” Zero replied, using every bit of his strength to climb through the hole in the windshield.after he was in and buckled in (A/N: safety first assholes) they drove THE FUCK OUTTA THERE. 

As the sirens faded in the distance x sighed to himself, remembering his rose colored days of youth when he was a fresh recruit, full of hope for humanity. He grinned looking at zero’s fear fueled expression as the vehicle he maneuvered plowed mercilessly through a populated street. Thump after thump hitting the car, much like like the thump after thump in his heart when thinking of zero. 

“JESUS CHRIST X PULL OVER” Zero shouted at x, loud enough for the blue armored reploid to snap out of his day dreams. “Yes. What is the problem Zero?” X said stopping the vehicle before it rammed into another innocent pedestrian. “We missed our pull off dude the laudry place is that way” zero says, motioning at the building a block away from the local HOT DOG ON A STICK™

At this point the two bots had switched places, not because of x’s ability to drive straight mind you (AN: get it because he’s GAY) but because x was fucking tired of driving okay and if you’re in shotgun you dont have to do shit. After some time zero menouvered them out of the target parking lot, leaving their trail of mangled reploid bodies behind, i mean i think they were all reploids so it’s fine a few broken limbs doesnt hurt anyone it makes you stronger and speeding off.

WILL THEY ARRIVE SAFELY TO THEIR DESTINATION? WILL X PURSUE THE OBJECT OF HIS AFFECTIONS? HAVE VILE OBTAINED THE PROMOTION HE’S BEEN PINING AFTER THE RECENT LAYOFF??? FIND OUT SOON ON PENU- PART 3


End file.
